I had an email from a subscriber to my email list recently. The writer, let's call him "Jim", wrote that, "My biggest challenge is self-compassion and self-kindness. I'm great at giving it to others but not myself."
Isn't that so common?
In case you're in the same situation, I thought you might like to see the resources I shared with Jim:
From the modern Mindfulness tradition
Mark Williams is a pioneer of modern mindfulness, based in the University of Oxford. He has recorded a short guided meditation on kindness (towards self and others):
- "Befriending": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLt-E4YNVHU
From the Buddhist source
This is derived from a traditional Buddhist practice, the "metta bhavana" - here are two lead-throughs:
"Mindful Self-Compassion" has become a discipline in it's own right - the key figures here are Kristen Neff, Chris Germer and Paul Gilbert. Here are some links to check out, and there's plenty more material out there:
- Kristen Neff - website https://self-compassion.org/ and video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11U0h0DPu7k
- Chris Germer - website https://chrisgermer.com/ and book https://chrisgermer.com/mindful-path-self-compassion/
- Paul Gilbert - book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Mind-Compassion-Focused-Therapy/dp/1849010986 (excellent material but not the most concise!)
A Brief Mindfulness exercise on Kindness, by Shakya Kumara
I have an introductory Kindness meditation, on video at at https://vimeo.com/232788700#t=27m13s.